What are the odds?

And this homeless man was digging through the trash. It appeared he had found a floatball (see below) and I thought… “Wow! What if the handle is in that garbage too? That would be too perfect.”

So I picked up my shirt and checked the garbage on the way back; nothing. He had kept the floatball too. Fatherless Child! But then I saw him across the street and sure enough he had the floatball and the handle too. What are the odds? I go out to buy something and some homeless guy has excactly what I need. This should be a cinch.

“So I notice you’ve got some toilet parts there?”

“Yeah” he says.

“Well so do I” and I pull my broken handle out of the paper bag.
Then he gives me a dissapointed look and says “Oh!” as if he was expecting a mickey of whiskey.

“I need that piece you have there. I’ll give you a dollar for it?”

“Hell no!”

What! Has this guy ever heard of supply and demand? (probably not, he’s homeless). “C’mon man, a dollar.”

“No way.” and he walks away. I guess there is no reasoning with him. Crazy Motherfucker! I guess it wasn’t meant to be. And I make may way to the hardware store.

“Wait just a second” I thought. “This had to have meant to be. Chances like this never come along. It couldn’t end like this.” Now I was thinking clearly. I walked back to get what fortuna had rightfully handed me, (but put in a homeless man’s hand) and he was gone. I wandered around for a bit and nothing.

Suddenly, a crazy man throwing toilet parts into a giant industrial dumpster caught my eye. What the fuck is he doing? I need that thing. Its like he’s throwing out a dollar. So I pass him on the street and I say “Bad Idea”, like an action movie catch phrase, and I jump into the dumpster, white shirt and all, and get what was mine. Thanks God, I must say, it works great. My parents are gonna love this toilet.

_{Note: I didn’t even get a spot of dirt on my freshly clean white shirt despite the homeless man and the dumpster. I was like Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade with the holy water…wait, that was Eddie Murphy in the Golden Child. Dammit.}